This is half-pie.

guilty by elimination

Posted 21. July 2005, 22:06 in by Alan Macdougall, received 12 comments.

Martha has got a great idea with this one.

Okay, there is all this concern that people who weren’t involved in selling cocaine will get tarred with the same brush. Why don’t we look into who it wasn’t? Clear some names?

So everyone who is not a name-suppressed celebrity drug bustee should go to this page immediately. By using the page to declare your complete innocence, and then encouraging all your friends and neighbours to do the same (assuming you all are innocent, of course) then it should be only a matter of months before we can resolve the identity of our celebrity nose candy fiends.

And another victory for the sheer power of the interweb!




Comments

  1. Martha
    21 July 2005, 22:24 #

    Alan, you will surely go to heaven for helping to spread the word on this VERY SERIOUS MATTER.

  2. Alan
    21 July 2005, 22:31 #

    Nice use of Dooce style CAPITAL LETTERS.

    I prefer to think of this as using the web for what it was built for: allowing to people exercise their DIVINELY PROVIDED right to wibble endlessly on matters that are not really their business, but make for fecking great gossip.

    So really, although heaven would be nice, in this case I prefer the earthly rewards of increased pagerank, untold numbers of comments, and thousands of adoring readers.

  3. Martha
    21 July 2005, 22:45 #

    How long will the gossip last? I need a timeframe here. I can’t be wondering about the poor blighted celebs forever.

    And, may you get all those readers you desire. I’ll send all 4 of mine your way for sure.

  4. house_monkey
    22 July 2005, 00:11 #

    I got told who it supposedly is, but I’m probably not allowed to say anything (what is the law on this?) and I’m not sure how reliable my source is.

  5. MiramarMike
    22 July 2005, 00:30 #

    Tell all and tell everyone … on this blog site and not mine

  6. Alan
    22 July 2005, 07:37 #

    h_m: please don’t. Judges get very grumpy about it.

    Martha: at this rate (seeing as you have about five NZ residents commenting on your page as of now) it should take only 13,000 months to clear all the innocent names.

  7. Martha
    22 July 2005, 13:56 #

    Well, that is something to look forward to.

    And isn’t Dooce brilliant? I hadn’t read her before.

    And news just off the wire. Dorothy’s Dance Party SUCKED.

  8. Em
    22 July 2005, 14:35 #

    Terrible news about Dorothy. Did the kids enjoy it at least?

    Can we add Dorothy to the list of the not name-suppressed?

  9. Alan
    22 July 2005, 17:13 #

    Yeah, Heather (of Dooce) is a great writer. The writing on her daughter is just fantastic (the monthly letters, in particular).

    I shall let Bella know that Dorothy the Dinosaur’s dance party was complete pants. Vindicates her decision to shoot for Madagascar instead (even if I thought it was crap, she didn’t)

  10. Martha
    22 July 2005, 17:13 #

    Malo seemed to think it was okay, but then he is only 10 months old. When Carla and Andrew took to the stage Finn looked away and didn’t really ever look back. I might blog it actually, it was a real disappointment.

  11. Martha
    22 July 2005, 17:14 #

    Woah, spooky. In two different worlds they write…

  12. house_monkey
    23 July 2005, 16:56 #

    Well it seems the identities are no secret now, if you know where to look, at least according to the DomPost this morning. The same two names that I heard were even written up on the whiteboard in the staffroom at work on friday. So much for name suppression.

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